December 2009
Been listening to this on repeat
I am a self proclaimed worrywart. It's quite annoying. I worry about everything imaginable, especially my health. So, lately in my constant state of anxiety I have been reflecting on the use of worrying. I think it's obvious, worrying has no use. It syphons our energy and drains us mentally. Also, it causes an excessive amount of stress on the body and mind which in turn causes our immune system to drop below healthy levels. Looking at all of that, we ask ourselves...why worry? What is the point? The point is.. worrying gives us a sense of use.. it makes us feel like we are capable of controlling a situation that is uncontrollable. Currently, I am worrying immensely about my persistent swollen glands that seem to not want to go down. I worry and worry and my thoughts ever lead to the negative dramatics of the situation. I would love to think that I can control my own health, but I can't. So, now I am going to try and control my mind. Self discipline. I can no longer worry my life away about circumstances that are beyond my reach. Patience is a virtue that I am currently attempting to obtain, along with peace of mind. Social conditioning has forced me into my current mental state, but that doesn't mean that I am forced to stay there. One can change their life, once they change their mind.
“If my poetry aims to achieve anything, it’s to deliver people from the limited...”
– Jim Morrison (via kari-shma) (via quote-book) (via thedustwhispered)
I am so in love with that man it is incomprehensible
“I am ageless. I went to a liberal arts college, like a good American. I was well...”
– Sufjan Stevens (via Eastern Echo) (via fuckyeahsufjanstevens)
FUCK YEA SUFJAN!! That sounds like my life. Minus living in Detroit and getting beat up.
fuckyeahsufjanstevens:
Joy to the World - Sufjan...
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
– Oscar Wilde (via bookscakesnkisses) (via booklover)
“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so...”
– Bertrand Russell (via quotewhore) (via coccaonthinks) (via booklover)
“My Best Friend is a person who will give me a book I have not read.”
– Abraham Lincoln (via quote-book) (via bookscakesnkisses) (via booklover)
“If music be the food of love, play on. Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting,...”
– Twelfth Night, by William Shakespeare (via laurenaliceinwonderland) (via libraryland)
loves me some billy shakes <3
“I’ve always found people love you best if you can laugh at your own foolish...”
– Barbara Kingsolver, Prodigal Summer (via thoughtsdetained) (via libraryland)
“Surround yourself with people who believe in your dreams.”
– (via curiousgirl)
One the verge of a complete breakdown.
Personal Experiment
Allllllriighty. So, I've been brushing up on my Buddhist theology lately, via the text of Pema Chodron, and I am presented with the idea of taking care of the mind, body, and soul. This idea, of course is nothing new to the world. However, I have never actually fully considered plunging myself deep into the idea to see if it actually works. So, from this point on I am going to be fully committed to the idea of the mind, body, and soul.Plans of executing the idea are as follows: 1. read the complete texts of Pema Chodron. Including, The Wisdom of No Escape, The Places that Scare You, and When Things Fall Appart. Hopefully I can get my grubby hands on more of her texts such as: Always Maintain a Joyful Mind, Comfortable with Uncertainty, The Myth of Freedom, No Time to Loose, Perfect Just as You are, Start Where You ARe, Taking the Leap, and Training the Mind. She has definately wrote an immense amount and I am hoping to at least read the three books I own and the text, Training Your Mind. I feel as if that will be an extremely beneficial book. Reading ideology combined with practiced meditation, in the form of yoga, and eating a healthy balanced diet, I am extremely interested in what the outcome will be, I'm sure it will be better than expected.
Good news comes to pick us up when we see no light at the end. Yesterday I received an email from my Photo proff saying that he raised my midterm and final grade because my photos were so bangin'. In his words, "I liked them quite a bit, and wish there were a few more. You greatly improved in this class toward the end of the semester, your pictures were spot on, and the prints started looking good... Lets work together in the spring to make sure things go smoothly the entire time." I feel an apprenticeship coming next semester.
“If you take a book with you on a journey,…an odd thing happens: The book begins...”
– Cornelia Funke (Inkheart) (via kari-shma) (via libraryland)
“I believe that today more than ever a book should be sought after even if it has...”
– Henry Miller (via suzywire) (via lotusohm) (via booklover)
currently in the process of writing something that has the possibility of turning into a short story or novel. excitement ensues
“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!”
– Audrey Hepburn (via curiousgirl)
“She decided it was her looks. Her slumped sweaters and eyebrows plucked to...”
– - A (very) short story by Sufjan Stevens via Hoodlum Tribe (via fuckyeahsufjanstevens)
he is so amazing!!!
I really can't loose my mind this christmas, I refuse.
Christmas Break Book List
Here is what I am planning on reading over christmas break:
1. Re-read Sorc. Stone
2. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time
3. The Distance from Here
4. Some Girls
5. On the Nature of the Universe
6. November
7. Homebody / Kabul
8. Abarat
9. the Fountainhead
I leave the Fountainhead for last, because well it's long as hell and will most likely take me forever : P
Christmas Break
So, for christmas break I've decided to do some epic shit with my life. Major art pieces are in mind and some random traveling. Along with my immense booklist and visits around the wonderful state of OH, I am planning to quite enjoy this. Use your life to create your own dreams, don't let yourself be your own worst enemy and never fear failure...it is... inevitable.
Reflection
Irrevocably I have had, as you may have heard me say many times, a pretty annoying semester. But while I was busy being stressed and overwhelmed I undoubtedly was able to let down everyone around me. Maybe I am being to hard on myself, maybe I should do something that is best for me for once. However, I feel as if while I was trying to help others and save my life I forgot to thank those who were there. So thank you, to those I stepped on when I was climbing to sanity and clarity. Do forgive me though, for I am going to continue to be selfish a bit longer. I believe I deserve it for once. My whole life has, legitimately, been dedicated to taking care of everyone surrounding me. I have forgotten myself one too many times in this life. I have changed myself for the benefit of others and have squandered my own dreams for the sake of keeping friendships. Please, do not pretend that you understand or have attempted to understand the workings of my life, history, past, and present. Words can not express how much I care about those in my life, I would give my life up for my friends [fam] each and every one of them. But, now, I need time. Time to collect the pieces that fell apart slowly and painfully over the course of the past 5 months.
“Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”
– Oscar Wilde (via ailesgrises)
(via libraryland)
My moto
Uncle Bacon Face: "you've got nowhere to go"
The HP: "I don't care, anywheres better than here"
“I write fiction. This is my first love. I’m working on a collection of stories...”
– Sufjan Stevens (via AAP, 2004) (via fuckyeahsufjanstevens)
I always knew he was PERFECT!
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”
– C.S. Lewis (via kari-shma) (via quote-book) (via kristenbobisten)
Multiple Mood Swings
Forgive me from the start, I wish I had amazing diction and witty remarks, but I'm going to try my hardest to make this seem smart.
Moods,
they spin
up and down.
Why the hell are they even around?
Pens and paper fill the ground
Sin is seeping, I hear no sounds
The air it's stagnant with uncommon thoughts
Rooms and views of memories past
Time has cast an evil spell
To make the present the equal hell
Running
Searching
Through my mind
Why can't I stay, I fall behind
Tripping
Stumbling
Minds wander through
Can we ever live?
Start brand new?
I see
I sink,
I sink,
into the ground
Reaching up
Stare around
Time stands still
and I'm immune
I can't be stuck
I have to move
Youth is here
give me love
and drag me near
Take me away
To any place
Make this evil dissipate
You save my soul and revive my heart
Keeping me from falling apart
Pieces that were scorned
Scattered
Forgotten
Have come to life
Restored
Mended
and reassembled
I have never been whole
until the day, you touched my soul
A life alone
yea, it was nice
But this malady
has capsized my life
And made me re-evaluate my strife
Life's a bitch
but now I know
sometimes you can't do it all on your own
“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.”
– Edgar Allan Poe (via quote-book) (via falsestartjunkyard) (via allmadhere) (via melapoo) (via nosferatued) (via anastasivictoria) (via brokenmachine) (via coldhearted) (via booklover) 